Hello. My name is Never. I am agoraphobic, I have severe anxiety and depression. The depression isn’t severe just the anxiety. I do not like going outside. I know a lot of people feel this way, and I often see posts from people saying exactly this but they are saying it while outside, which is not how I am saying it. I am am saying it from inside a small room that I Never leave because I never do most things that other people do. Because of the anxiety. And depression. and perhaps a few other things that have not been diagnosed but I wouldn’t know about those, would I? The agoraphobia, anxiety and depression have been diagnosed, so that is what I have to go on. I’m sorry, I lose myself quite frequently. I am not accustomed to nor do I enjoy speaking about myself. Some may wonder “why then you weird little fool, would you create a blog?” Good question figment I created to torture myself. The answer is I have things inside me that I need to get out. I have to get them out and this is the only place these words can go. The only place they, and I really, would fit. My thoughts are rapid and chaotic most often. And I doubt everything I say even though I never lie, which sounds like a lie because generally only liars say they never lie because everyone lies but I do not. I want to delete everything I put here, but I can’t. I hate all of this. It feels so immature. A childish attempt at existing. My head hurts. I was saying something.

Its hard for me to confidently state the purpose of this place. In my mind it is trapped in a void between needing to share it and wanting it to be seen, and never making it public or known. I keep telling myself no one cares. No one will care. No one is looking. It should comfort me. I believe it to be true and it should bring me great comfort but it does not and my head hurts. I just want to do some of the things I’ve always been afraid to do. I’ve been inside like this for most of my life. I don’t really know how to do anything and it is honestly a miracle I’m alive. I shouldn’t be. I really shouldn’t be. I shouldn’t be alive. I shouldn’t be alive. I shouldn’t be alive. I shouldn’t be alive. I shouldn’t be alive. I shouldn’t be alive. I shouldn’t be alive. I shouldn’t be alive. I shouldn’t be alive. I shouldn’t be alive. I shouldn’t be alive. I shouldn’t be alive. I shouldn’t be alive. I shouldn’t be alive. I shouldn’t be alive. I shouldn’t be alive. I shouldn’t be alive. I shouldn’t be alive. I shouldn’t Be alive. I shouldn’t be alive. I shouldn’t be alive. I shouldn’t be alive. I shouldn’t be alive. I shouldn’t be alive. I shouldn’t be alive. I shouldn’t be alive. I’ll never post this.